By Nicole Carson
Note: This article is inspired by Jonathan Pokluda’s message: The Reason You’re Single. JP is a pastor at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX.
Most girls I know (including myself) love to fantasize about their future husbands. We dream about an ideal world where we are romantically loved and flattered. While we watch chick flicks, we imagine we are the girl sitting next to the guy on a sandy beach as the sun sets. We spend time at our computers pinning wedding dresses on our Pinterest boards and dream about the future.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. In fact, God says marriage is a gift, and he who finds it has found what is good (Proverbs 18:22). However, when we start living for the future instead of the season God has placed us in NOW, we waste the time God is giving us to live RADICALLY for Christ and build His Kingdom.
Marriage and singleness are both GIFTS. Paul explains this in 1 Corinthians 7:6-7:
“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”
Paul wishes more people were like him (single) because he desires for them to be completely devoted to living out the message of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 7:35).
Because marriage is a desire for most of us, we sometimes focus our thoughts and energy on daydreaming about our future relationship, wondering if the next guy we meet could be “The One” or wishing we had the relationship one of our friends has. When we do this, we are longing for a happiness and fulfillment we think we’ll gain from an earthly relationship instead of being present and filled with the divine love and plans God has for us NOW.
Paul says single people have more available time as opposed to married people who have many responsibilities caring for their spouses and raising a family (1 Corinthians 7:33-34).
When you find yourself jealous or spending time longing for a man to sweep you off your feet, think about whether this is distracting you from being available to be used by God. Think of how many people’s lives would be changed if we would FULLY submit to investing our time and energy in people instead of wishing our lives were different. There are so many people who have not experienced His true love that will set them free from bondage forever.
JP says, “There’s no greater way to waste your life than to wish your season away.”
TRUST the One who has created this season for you. This starts every day BEFORE your feet hit the ground. Sincerely thank Him for the day and this time in your life, and ask Him to be your Guide, giving you a spirit of boldness to be His hands and feet. Then SUBMIT to keeping your eyes on Him, who is sovereign and has your life PERFECTLY mapped out.
“Don’t focus on losing the gift, focus on using the gift.”