By Nikki Dabney
These characteristics are taken from Todd Wagner, the senior pastor of Watermark Community Church. They are the five qualities he and his wife try to instill in their daughters, and they believe they are wide enough to encompass everything God wants a woman to be. It is important to note that these characteristics are not a checklist that you can complete in order to deserve God’s love or be perfect. Rather, they are ways for us to experience more completely all that God designed a woman to be.
1. SEEK GOD FIRST: Reject the lie that anything or anyone else can satisfy you.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:33-34
I think this is the hardest one for women. It’s so easy to find our identity in men, our appearances, social media, sororities, and relationships. Ask yourself: do I feel just as valuable when I’m single? Do I feel just as beautiful with no makeup on? Do I feel just as important when no one likes my profile picture?
God is our identity. We should see ourselves first as the Daughter of The King, and secondly as a best friend, girlfriend, or Tri Delt. Most importantly, we have to realize that ONLY God will satisfy. Seek. Seeking is active. We all chase something. We chase attention, grades, a body size, success. Are you actively pursuing the Lord? God. We all have a god, something we prioritize and center our lives around. Is your god the God? First. It’s easy to say God is the most important thing in your life.
But do your calendar and wallet reflect that?
Do you spend more time on social media than in God’s Word? Do you spend more time in study groups than you do in corporate worship? Are you quick to buy new shoes, but hesitant to pay for someone’s dinner?
Like I said, seeking God first is hard to do. It requires being intentional every single day. The first step is being honest with yourself about where your heart truly lies and what you are chasing after.
Know who you are and whose you are.
2. SPEAK FAITHFULLY: Love others with godly wisdom, boldness, and kindness as a faithful completer of others.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. – Proverbs 31:26
Women are powerful. We are the givers of life. Therefore, our words have the power to bring life to others, or to destroy them.
Do you gossip?
Can you be trusted?
Do you complain?
Women are naturally good at complimenting others. We need to use this gift to point out the best in others and encourage men as leaders.
There are two ways this can go wrong. Women can either compete with men and resist any form of submission, or they can mindlessly condone whatever men say. Neither is godly. Women are called to speak up in boldness for the afflicted and needy (Proverbs 31:8-9), so don’t be timid, but be thoughtful.
Every word that flows from your lips has an impact. Make sure it points others to your Savior.
3. SHOW TRUE BEAUTY: Bodies deteriorate; persons develop. Invest in that which lasts.
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. – 1 Timothy 2:9-10
If someone was talking about you and said, “Oh she is so beautiful!” What would they be talking about? Your hair? What if you got a haircut? What about when it turns gray? What if you got sick and it fell out? Would they be talking about the way you dress? What if you lost weight and didn’t fit clothes the same way you used to? What if you couldn’t afford the clothes you normally buy anymore?
Physical beauty is fleeting.
If someone said, “Oh she is so beautiful!” I would hope they would be talking about my soul.
One of my Bible study leaders said one of her goals in life is to become a woman of substance. I love the way she put that- a woman of substance. Be someone others admire. Be the kind of woman a girl would want as her mentor.
How do you invest in inner beauty?
Spend your money on a mission trip instead of on new makeup. Spend your time fellowshipping with others instead of watching Gossip Girl. Read The Woman of Mystery by Hayley DiMarco instead of a Nicholas Sparks book.
I’m not saying the alternatives are necessarily bad, but the world fights for our time, and we don’t want to waste our time doing things that add no real substance to our lives or to our character.
4. STAY HUMBLE: Be constantly aware of pride and selfishness.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 2:3-5
This one is particularly difficult for me. I have always been confident, and it is hard to balance that with being humble. The catch is learning to be confident not in my own abilities, but in the Lord, who he has made me and His plan for my life.
It is essential for a godly woman to learn how to take a compliment. It is one of my biggest pet-peeves when a girl will comment, “You’re so beautiful!” on another girl’s picture and she will comment back, “No I’m not, you are!” That is false humility.
Be polite. Be sincere. Be thankful. And boast in NOTHING except for the Lord.
C.S. Lewis describes humility perfectly: “Don’t think less of yourself, but think of yourself less.”
5. SERVE THE LORD: Set your mind on eternal things, serve the eternal King, live to please only Him.
For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
It is important to remember why we are here. It is not to accumulate as much wealth as possible. It is not to just have fun. It is not to create a comfortable life for ourselves. It is to serve the Lord.
A godly woman will see everything she does as a way to glorify and serve God. Every test, every football game, every date, every post.
Having an eternal mindset and staring into the eyes of Jesus will allow you to become the beautiful woman of God He designed you to be.