Why am I not making time for the Lord?

By Mackenzie Young

The school year is over, and with that comes much change in my life. I am packing up everything I own and moving into a new house, in a new neighborhood.

Truthfully, when so much is changing – when the entire world feels like it’s shifting underneath my feet –  it’s difficult to see God working. It feels like daily quiet time is impossible when my life is being packed into boxes. Honestly, I think I packed my Bible up a couple of days ago. My life, right now, is literally being uprooted, but I know many of my newly graduated friends or those without an internship are feeling the same way.

When we can’t see God’s plan clearly for more than several feet in front of us, it can cast us into doubt. For me, this doubt comes when I am not making time for God. How many times have I fallen into bed exhausted and spent, and offered my Lord a whispered prayer while succumbing to sleep? No wonder I don’t know His plan for me. If this were a chemistry test, or a move, or an internship opportunity, I would be pouring over every detail and aspect of it. I would know it backwards and forwards.

Why is it so easy for me to cast my Lord aside? I believe there’s two reasons: my own pride and my own guilt. I believe, wrongly, that I can fix things up for myself. I believe that I don’t need to “worry” God with my “trivial” needs. I convince myself that my life is small enough for me to handle, and that I can figure out what needs to happen. I actually believe that I can lay the pieces and that God will bless the handiwork.

Then fear arises when I realize how wrong I am. This is not the relationship that God desires with me, and it’s not what Jesus ever describes. That fear paralyzes me from drawing close to Him.

Also Read: What Are You Really Trusting In?

God says He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). But I am not acting like it. This season of life isn’t about learning to trust that Jesus is good and His promises are good, because I do! It’s about acting like I believe those things. I can longer be selfish with my time, my dreams, and my goals – because God certainly does not appreciate my withholding.

God is presenting me this season of change in order to teach me (yet again) to lean on Him. Free thinking humans recoil at the idea of “submission,” but Christ followers have a promise that if we choose to give it all to Him, then He will make our paths straight. We just need to fulfill our promised yes to the Lord to receive the rewards He promises us.

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