The Battle of “Who’s Having More Fun?” and Other Comparison Games We Play

By Jacqui Jacoby

God looks down on you from Heaven and thinks, “Wow, what a beautiful creature I created in My image! She is exactly what I intended for her to be. I LOVE her!”

If that’s true, why do we constantly compare ourselves to the women in our lives whom we deem “perfect,” if Jesus loves us no matter what? We should be content knowing that the Creator of the universe is completely content with every detail of us, right?

When I post on Instagram, I think about how skinny I can look and how much fun it looks like I’m having. I compare the number of likes I have to pictures of girls whom I deem “perfect.” This is insane. When I really, truly think about it, I’m trying to look perfect all the time. By default, this means that I’m trying to make other girls feel less perfect than me. Do you do this too?

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” – Proverbs 14:30

When we try to “have the most fun,” what we’re really doing is making other girls feel like lesser people. We are saying, “To be a Christian, you must be flawless.” We’re pointing others to our perfection, not Jesus’s perfection.

We need to point others to our imperfection to lead them to Jesus’s perfection. Does pointing others to our imperfection mean tearing ourselves down? No! It means living authentically.

We should be honest within our community. Tell your sisters in Christ that you’re struggling with partying, lust, comparison – whatever it is.

Confession is key (James 5:16). To have someone know the darkest parts of you and love you all the same (like Jesus does) is unbelievably freeing. And if you’re truly in community, you will be loved and appreciated for your vulnerability. Be bold, confess, and relieve yourself of the burden of your sin!

Here are some practical ways to end the battle of “who’s having more fun”:

  • I challenge you, right now, to plan to do something exciting and fun. Go paddle boarding, go on a late-night adventure, go to a concert – I don’t care what you do, but do it, and don’t post about it. Don’t live-tweet it, Snapchat it, or caption it with the perfect pun – just have fun! Live in the moment. Have fun for the sole purpose of enjoying the world that God graciously put you in!
  • Examine your heart behind the reputation you put out, on social media and in real life. Ask yourself, “Who am I trying to glorify?” Pray for God to help you be vulnerable and only seek His affection.

“Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” – Galatians 1:10

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