By Jill Coyne
So you’ve crossed physical boundaries with your boyfriend. What now?
Ladies, purity is a heart issue. We are defiled by what comes from our hearts (Mark 7:15), and from the heart comes all sexual immorality (Matthew 15:19).
Why are you giving in to sexual temptation?
- Are you trying to please your boyfriend? If so, your fear of man is greater than your fear of God. If we fear God above all else, then we will seek to please Him above all else (Romans 2:29).
- Do you just enjoy the personal gratification you receive from sensual acts? As Christians, rather than being controlled by our impulses, we are called to practice self-control by crucifying our flesh (Galatians 5:24).
Pursue intimacy with Jesus (Hosea 12:6). Confess your sin and surrender your desires to Him. Spend time daily reading Scripture and praying. Jesus wants to show you the pure joy of doing life with Him!
Ladies, do not let condemnation from the enemy let you believe you are not pure.
You are pure not because of what you have or have not done; rather, you are pure because Jesus’ perfect life was the ultimate atonement for your sin, and He now clothes you in His purity (Romans 4:5).
Just like the woman who was caught in adultery (John 8), Jesus does not cast a stone against you. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your sexual sin from you (Psalm 103:12).
After refusing to cast a stone, Jesus told the woman to “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). That is the same instruction that He gives us when we come before Him with sorrowful and repentant hearts.
Once physical boundaries are crossed, it is a lot easier to cross them again. Instead of taking one step back and saying, “We will just stop doing _______,” you need to get back to the heart of purity and completely reevaluate boundaries.
Sexual sin was prevalent in my past relationships. In reflecting upon what had caused me to stumble, I realized that simply cuddling with a man makes me want to go farther. As a result, I am choosing to be proactive by intentionally avoiding temptation and not cuddling with the men I date.
Seek out accountability: sisters who will inquire about crossed boundaries within your relationship and display BOTH the conviction and encouragement of God.
We battle sin because we want nothing to suppress our relationship with Jesus. Therefore, if you and your boyfriend continually push physical boundaries, you need to break up. We have no business being in a relationship if we are looking to our boyfriends for fulfillment rather than Jesus. Allow God to completely heal and restore your own heart before you partner with another.
Jesus is the vine. Apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15: 4,5). Purity will naturally flow from being intimately connected with Jesus. In Him, the desires of our heart are abundantly satisfied (Psalm 37:4)!